Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I'm sorry if this one is a bit heavy.  Just sharing my thoughts.

Some people don't understand the seriousness of commitments.  I got a text from a horrible ex of mine saying that he wanted to cancel a commitment that can't and shouldn't be cancelled lightly.  Now while I hope to someday make this commitment with a worthy man, I have also been instructed on the importance of keeping this commitment in tact until I can make it with someone else.  The most frustrating part is that he can make this commitment with as many woman as he wants, and I can only make it with one man.  Why then would he ask ME to break the commitment.  I am the one worthy of making it again.  Can he really look in the mirror and say that he is repepnted, that he is changed beyond recognition?

I have just heard from a bishop I will never meet about the same thing.  He was telling me that it will make things easier for me in the long run.  I guess he doesn't understand the importance of the commitment either.  That or the snake that is my ex told him lies about me so that he believes I am a terrible person.  I texted him back a beautiful response that will hopefully raise questions in his mind about the situation and question my ex.

In better news, Abstertron, I loved your t-ball analogy.  You are right.  As far as commitment goes, he is just dinkin' around with a ball and a stick looking for an easy hit.  Batter number 1 is playing in the majors and he is playing to win.  Batter number 1 is not afraid of commitment.

I was afraid of commitment, what with T-boy turning out to be a bit of a flake, Stan Man getting engaged a month after we last kissed, and Douche now looking to get engaged... I'm justified in being weary!  So when Elder came around I wasn't interested in anything more than fun and friends.  He has since tripped me up and made me fall hard.  The best part is, he is here to catch me. 

As of Friday April 22, Elder and I decided to be officially commited to one another (for the time being ;) )  Title's aren't my favorite as they tend to put another level of pressure on the situation, but maybe it isn't all so bad.  I really do love him.  And the best part is he really does love me back. 

Maybe commitments aren't such a bad thing, they are just hard.  Life is supposed to be a bit hard though so that we can be shaped into more perfect people.  Our trials don't define us, but they do strengthen us.

I love you all and miss you so much!


PS- East Coast April 30-May 11.  Then May 29-June 11.  Elder and I are thinking of coming to visit either June or July.  the voting is now opened!!!

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